Drinking from a fire hydrant...

In Arkansas for family activities this weekend.  Due to unexpected illnesses, our sleeping arrangements had to change at the last minute.  The kids are at Kitty's brother's and my stepmother, Cydney asked us to stay at her house.  While settling in, Cyd told me that dad's old journals were up by the John Wayne standup/cutout in the upstairs room if I wanted to read them.

I started last night with one...then, at 3:30 this morning, I woke up and couldn't get them out of my mind, so I made coffee and starting pouring thru a couple.  I knew dad awoke each day and had a Quiet Time and journeled...that was the ministry God gave him to teach others (primarily)...but I didn't realize the weight and depth of his walk, struggles and faith, until I started reading day by day what he wrote.  He was human, frail, doubting at times, struggling in health, but always seeking God and praying for his family and friends.  The pages put you right in the middle of the life of a giant.  Not a giant in the worldly sense, but a giant as a disciple.

When I look at the bookshelf where Cyd has stored his quiet-time journals, I see over 20 volumes of 200-500 pages of handwritten journeys with God each morning.  After reading thru just a couple of them quickly, I am amazed at the wealth of knowledge sitting on a lone bookshelf in Little Rock, not seen by anyone anymore....and protected by dad's cardboard standup of John Wayne no less!

There's no way that my father knew I needed to hear his voice on this trip...he passed several years ago, way to early, from cancer.  He couldn't know that me, his lost sheep, would enter his house and wish he could hear him talk.  So as I sat in his chair by the fireplace in the kitchen from 3:30-6:00, where he awoke early to write those journals...he spoke to me through them...but it was like drinking from a fire hydrant.  Funny how when you drink from a fire hydrant, the water starts leaking out your eyes...

It makes me realize the importance of leaving a legacy for my kids.  And not only that, something they can come back to and read....and instruction manual of thoughts, struggles and the journey.  In this age of computers and digital files....I never would have found these if they were on his old laptop...but I did, and they were handwritten by him.  Still, as nice as they are to read...the words in them speak of one thing: Don't just 'know' it....'live it'!  The best journal written for your kids is the one written on their hearts as they see you live what you believe each day...

From his journal (May 1990): "Our physical acts reflect our attitude toward God Himself.  Reverence is shown by our actions."